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Great leaders and professionals are emotionally available—they have the courage and capacity to feel their and others’ emotions. Emotional availability goes beyond empathy, which is understanding others’ feelings. It involves being aware of all emotions without being afraid of them.
Being present is essential, but it’s not enough. Without emotional availability, you miss key emotional information, leading to misunderstandings and ineffective communication. While emotional unavailability is often a cause of interpersonal issues in personal relationships, it also impacts the workplace.
Leaders who are emotionally unavailable lead to disengaged teams. Common issues include lack of communication, ineffective meetings, and employees feeling ignored or unrecognized.
Emotional maturity is key to emotional availability. The more emotionally mature you are, the better you can handle complex emotions and conflicts. However, many of us lack emotional maturity due to environments that do not address or validate emotions. However, emotional unavailability can be changed with self-reflection and practice.
Five signs of emotional unavailability to watch for in yourself include:
Non-stop monologues, using words as a shield.
Pseudo-communication, where you don’t relate to others’ input.
Non-acknowledgment, where you ignore others’ presence or contributions.
Non-connection, where you hold back praise or emotion.
Non-belonging, where you feel entitled or separate from others.
Such behavior undermines trust, hinders problem-solving, and creates a toxic culture. The root cause is often a fear of emotions, but emotional maturity comes through facing these feelings head-on.
One powerful tool for becoming more emotionally available is meditation. By regularly taking time to feel and process emotions, you can become more grounded, intuitive, and inspiring as a leader. This practice will make you an exceptional leader—one who not only improves relationships but also leads with wisdom and authenticity.
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